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Deal 1148: Tweety Conspiracy

Everything is real
raise awareness of the cage
keeps Sylvester out.

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Deal 296: Caged for Safety

That darn cage.

Everything I’ve tried, and still there he sits the tempting morsel that he is, safe inside his darn cage.

When he’s out, he’s well guarded by people who don’t understand my primal nature. Eating tasty things like him is entirely in my nature. Hunting them is my nature. Catching them is my nature. Cages are not part of my nature.

I’m clever though.

I’ve got a new approach. I’m going to work the supernatural angle, make him think his cage is haunted, and scare him out.

That can’t possibly fail!

So I’ve bought a ghost tracker.

(Our human is good at guarding the bird, but not so good at guarding her wallet! Amazingly, when shopping online no one asks if you are human, either.)

That should let me locate and chase a ghost into his cage.

I’ve also bought some supplies to keep the ghost, and a Ouija board to talk with it.

I setup the tracker, and pretty swiftly locate an anomaly of some kind in the kitchen. Its hovering around the oven, so it might be the ghost of some failed dinner. The Tracker may be working, but none of the containers seem to do a darn thing. So I crack open the board, and try to get it’s attention.

“Are you listening?” YES.

“Will you help me?” NO.

Huh. Blunt.

“What were you in life?” A.T.U.R.K.E.Y.

Oh. No wonder it won’t help me with the cage. At least it was honest. Back to scanning, stopping on the way to remind my dinner that his cage is haunted. He doesn’t seem worried.

I keep searching. I find lots of ghosts, but none will help me. Besides the turkey in the kitchen, there was a rat in the pantry, a duck in the bathroom (who couldn’t explain why he was haunting a bath), and a couple of birds in bedroom. The attic had a possum which I though might be helpful, but his habit of playing dead made talking rather difficult.

Each time I passed through the parlour, I leaned on the haunted story. Dinner still wasn’t interested.

Finally, I gave up and stole a sheet from the linen closet, and resorted to just plain disguise and my lifetime’s experience of acting.

I was just getting into the role when our human came home and spoiled the whole thing. She seemed to think it was wrong of me to involve a sheet. At least I hadn’t cut eye holes in it this time! Even so, she banished me from the house while in the background my dinner was hopping up and down screaming “I did! I did!”

I’ll get him out of that cage eventually even if it is the last thing I do!