Deal 1298: Oops.

It just broke, for no reason at all. Really! No reason.

Ok, I might have been crossing a ballroom with my shoes off. Right after it was waxed. Right after descending the showpiece staircase.

But that still doesn’t explain why it broke.

The snow white cat on the stairs had nothing to do with it either. Blending in to the white carpet is not a crime, after all.

I wasn’t sneaking around at all. No, I had my shoes off because the floor was freshly waxed and I didn’t want to be the first to scuff it.

You might think from the way I danced down the stairs that it was all intentional. Then the skid across the polished floor, and a crash into a stack of dishes.

Somewhere along the way, it broke.


Deal 1295: On toes

One more hole, must be time to darn a pile.

Something is eating socks, and not the usual way. They alway return from the dreaded laundry room. But they don’t last long before they need surgery at heel and toe.

If I don’t keep after them, they might as well be called frankensocks.

Time to set a trap.

A time lapse camera watching the sock pile ought to be informative.

And what it reveals is that the socks lead a wild nightlife when we aren’t looking.

I never saw the intruder, but someone set up a disco ball, and the socks all danced. Danced like there was no tomorrow. Danced their golden toes off. Danced until their double-knit was single.


Deal 1269: Hundredweight carrot

The giant orange root would feed the village for a week. The hunters had outdone their previous efforts by finding the hundred pounder. It sat in the town square, awaiting butchery and eventual cooking. A wall of muddy orange, with small rooty tendrils on its sides, and the stump of a tree at the wide end.

Merely digging it up required herculean effort. Transporting it whole as well. And now it rests here, on trestles, waiting to be washed, buried, cooked, and eaten.

Already a crew was at work preparing a fire pit to slow roast the majority of it.

The succulent tip was already gone, so the hunters likely took their due when they lifted it clear of the ground.