Deal 1303: Phoney

It bent. Oddly, very little of it is visibly broken. But it is bent into a smooth arc, with a fairly short radius.

It doesn’t work as a phone any more, either.

A small bend might be explained by leaning against a railing with the phone in a pocket.

But this is a much larger scale bend. It is almost bent through ninety degrees.

It must have been subject to a lot more force. More than I should be capable of delivering with bare hands.


Unless it was present when I was poisoned.

I don’t remember.

I do remember feeling strange, and coming back to myself later with sore hands.

And no phone.

Perhaps that is what happened.


Deal 1298: Oops.

It just broke, for no reason at all. Really! No reason.

Ok, I might have been crossing a ballroom with my shoes off. Right after it was waxed. Right after descending the showpiece staircase.

But that still doesn’t explain why it broke.

The snow white cat on the stairs had nothing to do with it either. Blending in to the white carpet is not a crime, after all.

I wasn’t sneaking around at all. No, I had my shoes off because the floor was freshly waxed and I didn’t want to be the first to scuff it.

You might think from the way I danced down the stairs that it was all intentional. Then the skid across the polished floor, and a crash into a stack of dishes.

Somewhere along the way, it broke.


Deal 1295: On toes

One more hole, must be time to darn a pile.

Something is eating socks, and not the usual way. They alway return from the dreaded laundry room. But they don’t last long before they need surgery at heel and toe.

If I don’t keep after them, they might as well be called frankensocks.

Time to set a trap.

A time lapse camera watching the sock pile ought to be informative.

And what it reveals is that the socks lead a wild nightlife when we aren’t looking.

I never saw the intruder, but someone set up a disco ball, and the socks all danced. Danced like there was no tomorrow. Danced their golden toes off. Danced until their double-knit was single.


Deal 1292: Slippery

The keep making phones waterproof, but that isn’t the real problem. They need to make them butterproof.

This is the third one I’ve lost this month.

They get the least bit of butter on them, and then there’s no way to keep a good grip. It just slips right away.

This one got into the pancake batter. I didn’t notice until it was on the grill.

The last one got into a batch of bread. Broke a customer’s tooth. Could have been worse, at least the battery didn’t explode in the oven.

Butterproofing. That is where the future advancements are needed.