Deal 1230: Watched

Your phone, so shiny
fancy and new, so many
features to learn. Yet…

watching, all the time
you can’t have it; well guarded
phone, alarm, shiny.


Deal 1214: Modern problems

Being a vampire was hard enough in the days of yore. Maintaining one’s image without access to mirrors was always difficult. But modern times have made it even more difficult.

Cameras were a problem from their beginning. Anything with a mirror simply would not show a vampire. Lenses were different. Flat glass had little or no effect. Wavy glass has a varying effect. But the silver in the negative made film cameras unreliable. Then we arrive at modern smartphones with digital cameras built in.

Smartphone cameras may not like us, but the audience apparently loves them.

As time goes on, modern society finds new reasons to put cameras everywhere.

Being a vampire walking streets of London (with more security camera per capita) will put you in front of many of those cameras, and reveal your secret to the volunteer monitoring the cameras.

Next time we’ll discuss the problems with getting a state-issued ID card when the camera have trouble focussing on your face.


Deal 1201: Boomer-ring

Advice is everywhere you look. But even the Wise Old Owl may be mistaken, so don’t follow it blindly.

Your phone was dying.

But without it, you would be at the mercy of boredom, or conversation, or person to person interaction.

Advice was available. The simplest being to just plug in the phone and let it charge. But that was too obvious, too slow, and somehow not clever enough. So your search went on, from sensible ideas to the crazy.

Somewhere along the way, magical thinking set in.

Then the smoke clears and you can see the burning carcass of your phone inside the ruined microwave…


Deal 1189: The next big con

The telephone has revolutionized the art of the big con. Once upon a time, a con man had to travel from place to place, then spend time to establish their identity and gain the confidence of some key figures in a community. All as the precursor to even beginning to think about starting a long con. It meant that a true long con really did take a long time to execute.

The telephone changed all that.

Suddenly it was possible to visit people in their homes or offices, almost without their even knowing they had invited you in.

Since a large part of the early effort is spent just to establish the trust needed to be invited in, the long con got significantly easier to play.

Of course, you still need to have a mark, a tale, and a payoff. And you probably can’t play it all solo.

But if you can master the art of sounding sincere on the phone, you can play the game without leaving your home.

You can even play more than one mark at a time, taking turns to advance each tale.

How could it ever get easier?

Then I got the letter.

“Dear most noble sir,” it began, “Greetings from the rightful heirs of the minister for imaginary trade outside of my country, who died unexpectedly in a most tragic and horrific fashion, with a sum of not less than ten million US dollars on deposit in an imaginary bank in your country. Which I know I can count on your help to return to its rightful owners. Accepting a generous fee for your services, naturally….”

I wonder what strange and wonderful technology will come next that advance the art of the con?

I can barely wait.