Deal 1311: Unstuffed

Little did I know what I was getting in to when I signed up. That might be a common story, of course.

I am a bear, a teddy bear to be right stuffed about it.

We have a certain view of the world, it always starts with our little human. All else is secondary.

But the offer was sincere, and coming from a fellow toy, I listened.

That was probably my real mistake.

If I hadn’t listened, I wouldn’t have joined.

If I hadn’t joined, I wouldn’t be loosing stuffing over this.

I know what you’re thinking. “Silly old bear. What good is that fluff-filled head of his?”

It isn’t really like that at all. Yes, of course I’m stuffed. It says that right on my tag: “poly-fill stuffing, hypoallergenic”.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t think.

I don’t think with my stuffing, I’m not bound by the same rules as my little human!

But I was offered a chance to make the world better.

Or so it seemed to me at the time, in any case.

As it is turning out, I am trapped in the new toy box, with no way out, and subject to new rules.

And my small human is alone, and afraid.

And I have failed my charge.


Deal 1309: Not quite invisible

When they called it scratching, I don’t think this is what they meant.

I’ll be fine. Eventually. But until the wounds heal, I’ve got some entertaining scars. Like I got into a fight with invisible boy.

Almost exactly like a fight with Invisible Boy.

And yet, the boy isn’t here.

But the scratches are.


Deal 1308: Ribbit?

Jewel had a lifetime of training behind her. But that never really made what she had to do easier. Each time was as difficult as her first.

By this point she went through the motions without thinking and the results were all she could hope for.

But this one turned orange.

No, orange was not the expected color. Aside from color, it seemed perfectly happy.

But then, who could really tell?


Deal 1306: Its a small something

The song was stuck in my head, and I was going to be hearing it all day. But that wasn’t what was most annoying.

It was stuck there because I was doing a good deed and helping a friend.

I may have helped distract their kids for the afternoon.

But spending more than half that time stuck on a broken ride while the theme music track plays at what feels like increasingly annoying volume and while the kids finally achieve their dream of memorizing the lyrics and choreography is just the icing on the cake.

My only consolation is that at the end of the day, I get to return the little parrots to their home, where they will inflict their new learning on their parents.


Deal 1304: Hidden

Everyone lies. But I was the first to be caught by a hidden recorder. I think this will usher in an era where it is impossible to lie without being caught.

Faced with a recording of your very own voice to prove you false, how could you ever draw?

The gramophone was well hidden, and it clearly picked me stating my intent to lie.

Now this is causing troubles with my show. My rivals are spreading rumors, and then playing the recording they have with the not-so-subtle hint that there could be more!


Deal 1303: Phoney

It bent. Oddly, very little of it is visibly broken. But it is bent into a smooth arc, with a fairly short radius.

It doesn’t work as a phone any more, either.

A small bend might be explained by leaning against a railing with the phone in a pocket.

But this is a much larger scale bend. It is almost bent through ninety degrees.

It must have been subject to a lot more force. More than I should be capable of delivering with bare hands.


Unless it was present when I was poisoned.

I don’t remember.

I do remember feeling strange, and coming back to myself later with sore hands.

And no phone.

Perhaps that is what happened.


Deal 1302: Charming, I’m sure.

Charming learned that day that some laws are not obeyed by inanimate objects. That’s not what he actually thought: that would be more along the lines of “if everyone stares, you must be doing something right”.

Soon a crowd formed to watch him as he raged at the back doors of the elevator car. They refused to open on command, even for a Prince.

It was a tough lesson to learn.