I always aimed to be loyal.
I could not have joined if I weren’t willing to be loyal, I know that loyalty to Our Order is bound up in its oaths and laws. And the laws provide penalties for violating the oaths. I am loyal, and I have sworn all the oaths appropriate for my rank and standing in The Order.
I am also deeply ethical. And some hints spotted here and there recently lead me to the concern that my personal ethics and The Order’s laws will eventually conflict. This concerns me. I took my oaths in good faith, and I don’t know what will happen when my oaths require me to break bonds made and word given at other times and places.
I’m not nosy, really. But when I notice things I tend to take an interest. I do have a nose for trouble. Not so much that I seek it out, but more that I root it out. It doesn’t always leave me popular. But it is my pesky ethics at play again. When something in front of me is obviously in the wrong, I have great difficulty just looking away.
The Order may not be what I thought it was. But it may also be too late for me.
I am loyal.
The Raven is going to be trouble, that is clear. It did not take long as an Initiate to figure out that Raven cannot be trusted. It is not as simple as Raven is always lying. No, that would allow me to manipulate Raven into providing trustable information. Rather, Raven simply cannot be trusted to be telling the truth, or trusted to be telling a lie. I think Raven tells occasional truths to make the lies all the more impactful. Or sometimes Raven indulges in telling just enough of the truth to make it into a lie.
I am loyal.
I am no longer an Initiate, I took the Oaths a year ago, and have advanced since then to the fourth stair. I hope to make the next step any day now. But there is trouble brewing. From this position, I can see that the steps continue above me a long ways to the first Landing. I fear that some clumsiness will cause my progress to falter before I can reach that first point where my rank cannot be stripped from me. As I look upwards at my elders, and sometimes downwards at the new recruits, I can see that not all are as purely loyal to The Order as I am. And this is speeding the day when my Oaths will conflict with what I know is right.
When that day comes. Know that I am loyal to The Order.
But possibly not to my immediate superiors within The Order.